What is The Compassionate Friends?

The Compassionate Friends is a non-profit self-help organization for families following the death of a child of any age from any cause. There are nearly 600 chapters located in and serving every state with the union.

Is this counseling?

No. Facilitators are not professionals. They are simply bereaved parents and family members who have themselves suffered the death of a child and remain with The Compassionate Friends to help those who are more newly bereaved and walking the same path.

Who may attend?

Meetings are designed for bereaved parents, grandparents, and siblings of an appropriate age. Other immediate family members living at home may attend.

Can I bring a friend to my first meeting?

Often the bereaved feel the need for support in attending their first meeting. If necessary, feel free to bring a friend for support. Friends are not allowed to share, however.

What happens during a meeting?

Generally the first hour is spent in a sharing session. Those attending are able to talk about where they are in their grief, how the child died, or any subject related to the death of a child. The second hour is generally spent discussing a topic of interest to those present. At times there are special speakers or events, such as a memorial balloon launch.

Am I required to speak?

No one has to say anything if that is their wish. However, discussing the loss does promote healing.

Does a group setting work for everyone?

No. Every person handles grief from the death of a child differently. We ask that you attend three meetings before deciding if TCF is right for you. Often the emotions at your first meeting are very intense as you remember and talk about the death of your child. As you attend more meetings, these intense emotions tend to subside as headway is made in learning to cope with what has happened and the “new life” you are now living.

How long should I wait after my child has died before attending?

There is no set waiting period. Some family members have attended within a few weeks of the death. Others have waited several years.

Is there any religious affiliation?

There is no religious affiliation. Members come from all faiths and include those who do not believe in a higher being.

May religion be discussed?

Yes, religion is an important tool for many people to cope with the death of a child. However, no one may use a Compassionate Friends meeting to proselytize a specific religion.

Is my privacy respected?

Yes. What is said at a TCF meeting stays within the organization. A mailing list is maintained so that the monthly chapter newsletter can be sent to all members but may not be used outside the organization. Anniversary and death dates are remembered in the newsletter, but you may opt not to have them listed.

What supportive materials does TCF have available?

The Compassionate Friends organization has created nearly two-dozen brochures covering many areas related to grief. The Lakes Area Chapter keeps has many of these brochures available for those attending meetings. In addition, a lending library is maintained with grief books from respected authors. The chapter also publishes a chapter newsletter monthly. The parent organization publishes a quarterly national magazine, We Need Not Walk Alone, which is available by subscription.

Can I receive the chapter newsletter without attending meetings?

Yes. You need not attend meetings to receive the newsletter.

Is there a charge to attend chapter meetings or receive the chapter newsletter?

No, there are no individual dues or membership fees and no charge to receive the newsletter.

How does the chapter meet its financial obligations?

Love gifts are gladly accepted. These are usually made in memory of the child who has died. Some members give love gifts on the birth or death dates of the child, or as a memorial in remembrance of another person who has died. Donations are also received from supportive businesses. These love gifts are used to fund the chapter newsletter, lending library, outreach materials, and other costs involved with maintaining the chapter.